Don't even give them a chance to launch their Bullscutter !
Oh, no. Brutish Bullscutter Coperation. Don't come fucking near me today. Dear Jaysus, you Kerry fucking recruits and gobshites all over the Irish media are their by-product. There are so many things I could say to express my deep mistrust and yes, anger of these new media Irish opinion makers. Their world service can be a titillating export but their rampant censorship of the restless native's replies stinks to high heaven, of arrogance, cultural imperialism and age old repression.
I don't vote right wing as far as I know, so maybe that also explains my antagonism to them. I don't believe the Brutish Bullscutter Coperation, which henceforth will be simply called the BBC, offer anything approximating legitimate alternatives for this country, indeed any country but thats their business. I disagree with their monarchy, class system of commoners, lords, inherited privilige and intolerance of diversity or alternatives.
Lest you think nationalism is blinding me, do not confuse my rants against Brutish Bullscutter with the many Scottish, English and Welsh friends I have known down through the years, most of whom are the salt of the Earth in my opinion and great people.
It goes against every fibre of my being and tradition to be rude to people but you have got to stand up for your identity these days or become a smiling zombie product of their pundits and seductive manipulating bullscutter.
Brutes are people too but we must take this tour d'arse with all of its insanity, as a relief from the bland sanitized, couldn't give a fuck mercenary BULLSCUTTER ! of our age.
BBC Censored
In the wake of a huge multi-million Premier League TV rights deal, with India, Maroon, travelled to India from China, where he had being secluded, in fear of being nuked by WMD (Weapons of Media Destruction) in London, to catch up on the luxury entourage, headed by Prime Minister in waiting, Gordon Brown.
Brown diplomatically avoided the issue of Labour being "loaned" 1.5 million large by an Indian businessman from Bomb bay, who wished for anonymity, the embarrassed and unnamed businessman is now a Lord.
Brown produced another Salford red herring, by saying England to host World Cup in 2018. After tough questioning in Bomb bay by the NEW BBC's political editor Nick Robinson, Mr Brown said: "It will be great. Fifty years after we had it before. It is the right time for England to have it.
"All the effort to win England's place for the World Cup is going to happen in the next year or two."
Asked by Maroon who he would like to win, Mr Brown replied: "I think the host." When asked "Not Scotland?", the Chancellor replied: "Well, of course, I want Scotland to do well, but let's just see how it all works out."
When asked about "cash for honours" by Maroon the microphones were turned off.
Meanwhile a bhoy spokesperson for Celtic said Brown is "ridiculous in Scotland, insincere and fickle in England".
The Bhoy said "Brown is fast becoming a figure of fun in these matters.
"First he said that Paul Gascoigne's goal against Scotland in Euro 96 was his favourite football moment, then he supported a British Olympic football team and now he seems to have completely lost the plot."
Brown also denied being in India to avoid the "honours for cash" issue.
Having been "loaned" 1.5 million large by an Indian businessman from Bombbay, who wished for anonymity, the embarrassed and unnamed businessman is now a Lord
Where the loan amount exceeds £100,000 a knighthood should be considered up to and including £1,000,000. In excess of £1,000,000 up to and including £1.5m, knighthoods and minor aristocratic titles should be mandatory. Any amounts in excess of £1.5m up to and including Lordships should be granted in perpetuity "my own coat of arms" in return for "500 grand, no questions asked and keep your trap shut", as he put it.
Maroon questioned, O'Leary in the pub's deserted pre-lunchtime snug, DOL recalled: "Yeah, it was just around election time and two suits came in and asked for sparkling mineral water, which got me suspicious right from the off. I thought they might be from the Guardian, so I was just about to set the dogs on 'em when they whipped out this full-colour mock-up of what my coat of arms might look like were I to make a 'loan' to the cause.
"Oh yeah — the coat of arms? Nice job: Lion bombasted rampant on field guano and azure supporting an honest bunch under the motto 'We Aim to Serve — Eventually' as I recall, but 500 grand? They even offered to throw in a 'David Blunkett' fast-track immigration voucher, redeemable at the Nationality and Immigration Directorate so if the missus ever needed the nanny's chinese visa sorted sharpish..."
I said "No mate, if it's about that fast-track peerage business," my name is Dave not Alex, Doug, Michael, I can make the grade on a level playing pitch. Later I spoke to other football colleagues, who said.
"Right mate — I don't care which party you're from I've got 200 grand which says that come next election I'm Lord Viloon of Aston Villa. Look, here's a sketch of a coat of arms, Ms.Givings knocked up — that's an honest bunch of Lion regaurdant fesswise with sterlized urinant below voyding fickle bones crossed on field sanguine..."
Blues alerted by SMS to the possible presence of a New Labour "fixer" in a Villain snug — stormed the snug waving bundles of readies and demanding a range of services
They later made the lists of demands and cash on offer available to the Lord Chancellor.
A New Beeb spokeslackey told us: "Yup, this all looks pretty straighforward. There's a couple fo things you need to know, though: the maximum you can pay for one transaction is now 500k. So, you'll just have to tell your former Dave that not even two million will buy him the science minister's hotseat. If he is interested in four different posts at half-a-mil a pop? Tell him to call me — stop writing books and we'll do lunch."
